So what’s wrong with sex and why did we learn as children not to play with ourselves?
To answer this question one only needs to pick up a newspaper to find a neverending variety of sensationalized stories about the negative extremes of human sexuality. In addition to turning us off to the ideas of sex, what this actually says about us is that the consuming public finds other’s sexual exploits highly interesting if not downright titillating. Sex sells. Add to this the fact that current social restrains make it difficult for any of us manifest our sexuality in the way nature intended and you wind up with a sexually dysfunctional public perpetually searching for acceptable ways to engage in sex with others. Ever wonder why people drink booze so they can reduce their inhibitions as part of today’s rituals surrounding sex.
In addition to being sexually repressed, here is where many if not most of us get sex wrong:
NORMALITY – If there is one area where our inner experience of sex conflicts with what we learned to accept from the societies we were born into, it is the misconceptions of what constitutes normal sex. To accurately view human sexuality, one should see the range of possible sexual attractions on an individual basis as being far broader than most would openly acknowledge. That range would include what we now define as heterosexuality or being “straight” all the way through to homosexuality or being “gay”. It would also include fetishes, intergenerational sex and a host of other behaviors our misconceptions of “normality” restricts us from engaging in.
While most would quickly deny ever experiencing any desire outside of socially acceptable parameters or straight sex, that does not mean the majority would never have experienced other attractions if it was socially acceptable. The power social acceptance has over us goes way beyond what some might imagine especially for those whose fragile egos has them preoccupied with keeping antisocial sexual desires hidden not only from others but from themselves as well.
HARMFUL SEX – One of the biggest misconceptions about sex today is that anything other than “straight” sex carries with it a huge potential for psychological damage. What is really behind this idea is that if one allows themselves to engage in socially unacceptable sex and they learn to like it then they will be irrevocably directed down a certain path that will difficult to change. In other words, if the opportunity for sex with an opposite-sex partner is not available for whatever reasons, the choice to engage in sex with a same-sex partner could carry with it lifelong consequences. In a perfect world, more in tune with what really goes on inside us, the opportunities for a wide variety of sexual encounters would enable us to enjoy both gay and straight sex without inhibiting any of our ability to enjoy both. None of this is rocket science and one only need look at the sexual behaviors of those closest to us on the evolutionary tree to confirm the obvious. That does not mean we might not develop preferences for one gender over the other but rather that we would be open to enjoying a wider range of sexual encounters governed more by the opportunities that arose than preferences for ideal sex with an ideal partner. Just ask someone getting out of jail after 10 or 20-years.
Unfortunately, the fact is that few things have the potential to damage our egos or the good feelings we naturally have about ourselves than how we come to view ourselves sexually. If one has learned to accept that homosexuality is morally wrong then they are destined for some serious inner conflicts that have the power in extreme cases to result in suicide. There is nothing more damaging to the human psyche than having to constantly deal with a level of inner conflict that throws us out of harmony with ourselves to the point where we start hating ourselves. For anyone in such a predicament, they should know that it is surely not what they feel inside that is wrong since that can easily be traced back to the millions of years of evolution that created all of us. If gay was not supposed to be part of the normal human sexual psyche, evolution would have weeded that out of our genetic code long ago. This is especially true since homosexual relationships do not produce offspring meaning that being gay gets transferred to the next generation through heterosexual sex. Go figure.
The problem is not with the part of you that notices the sexual attractiveness of some who happen to have the same genitalia but rather the false social ideas that you are supposed to be something other than what you really are. Nothing less than common sense truth says that you are exactly what you are supposed to be and in fact, you have no other choice than to be you. It is the society you were born into that is screwed-up and has it all wrong starting from religion all the way through to laws based upon all the various scriptures. Future generations will surely look back upon today’s social misconceptions of “straight = normal” with awe and amazement at the level of stupidity we humans are capable of.
If you are a human being then you want to have sexual contact with others no matter how crazy the society you grew up in has made you. And as long as your socially induced inhibitions keep you from fulfilling sexual needs, you will always experience a certain level of increased stress tied to your repressed sexual needs not being fulfilled.
Though everyone surely knows that sex is something willing participants enjoy together, there are a few of our fellow so-called human beings who are capable of forcing sex upon unwilling partners. Though this is wrong on so many levels, it is also wrong to blow the trauma and mental damage from such encounters way out of proportion. Believing life-long psychological damage results from forced sex can become a self-fulfilling prophecy that turns a bad experience into something far worse. This is especially true when victims learn to blame that experience on all their shortcomings and resultant problems including all those that existed long before the negative sexual encounter. For some, wallowing in self-pity takes over their lives especially where they learn to use it as a crutch to garner the attention or sympathy of others.
Sex ranks way up near the top as one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences any of us are capable of. It is who we are and what we are supposed to do. To deny that for the sake of willfully blatant ignorance has to be one of the worst betrayals anyone can inflict upon themselves. Surely a tragedy and utter waste of the human experience. Sex is here to stay and will be here long after all of today’s anti-sex hysteria and false moralities have gone the way of the dodo bird.
