There is a misconception running around that paints religion in a highly positive light. The idea is that being one of the faithful means we are highly moral individuals who out of fear of eternal damnation keep the savage beast that resides within in check. But a look around at all the unnecessary pain and suffering going on in the world today quickly shows that religion rarely dissuades anyone from harming others. Especially when they get in the way of our quests for immediate gratification or our longer term goals tied to chasing illusions of fortune and glory.
While we might be persuaded to throw some extra money into the donation basket after a good sermon, we still might get into a fistfight on the way out of the church parking lot after someone cuts in front of us. These fleeting feelings of love and brotherhood towards our fellow humans tend to get left at the church, temple, or mosque door as soon as we cross the threshold back out into the competitive rat race that makes up our day to day lives. And while the sermons sound good and inspirational, they hide some very dark elements of the religions institutions that claim a connection to the creator of the universe who is refereeing the supernatural battle of good vs. evil.
The list of harms done to humanity by and in the name of faith is long and tattered while the positive aspects of praying to imaginary friends in the sky is tellingly short.
RELIGION CANNOT TURN US INTO SAINTS
Fetal stemcells, aren’t those controversial? You don’t know how to do any of those. What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. You won’t have time for sleeping.
Oh yeah, good luck with that. Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing.
A Bicyclops Built For Two
I love you, buddy! Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
- I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars.
- For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your first wife was the one.
- But the flesh is spongy and spanac bruised?
Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. When will that be? Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Daylight and everything. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. Who am I making this out to?
It’s nice to just embrace the natural beauty within you. Who am I making this out to? Shut up and get to the point!
And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, you mean while for the love of God, don’t not do it!
Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Shut up and get to the point!
I’ve got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, Going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Who am I making this out to?
They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.
Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious.
I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated science. And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to.
Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Who am I making this out to?
You mean while I’m sleeping in it? Throw her in the brig. Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue.
Daylight and everything. I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. So I really am important? How I feel when I’m drunk is correct?
Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. And then the battle’s not so bad? And remember, don’t do anything that affects anything, unless it turns out you were supposed to, in which case, for the love of God, don’t not do it! Shut up and get to the point! Hey, tell me something. You’ve got all this money. How come you always dress like you’re doing your laundry? I’m sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. I love you, buddy! Please, Don-Bot look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? Hey, whatcha watching? That’s right, baby. I ain’t your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him!
Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out.
Kids have names? That could be beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. You can see how I lived before I met you. Do a flip!
Hello Morbo, how’s the family? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of sleaze that those things bring. We’ll need to have a look inside you with this camera.
